Showing, Not Telling: How to Make it "Pop"
Written by Jennifer-Oksana.

By now, some of the most repeated and thus meaningless advice given to writers of all stripes are "write what you know" and "show, don't tell" as vaunted gems of how to become a Very Good Writer. This, of course, is not to say I necessarily disagree with either dictate; however, I think some further instruction in how to use both of these advices as tools rather than limitations.

Writing what you know in a lot of ways is overrated; however, "what you know" is a lot less bounded than people make it (AKA "write what you know" = your mundane life as a young middle-class person of the 21st century), because you know a lot of things. You know what your favorite foods taste like. You know what a candle looks like flickering atop the blue glow of a television set. Like many of your characters, you know how to drive a car, use a remote, work the microwave, et cetera. All of these things can be written about. For example, Gunn from Angel. Writing what you know can equal...you know that Gunn likes Galaxy Quest and toy robots and some popular culture. You personally know the joy of Adult Swim. Gunn has a job that often requires him to be up late and thus have the watching habits of a mid-twenties slacker insomniac. Thus, in writing Gunn, you can easily set him in a scene where he is watching Adult Swim and zinging his viewing partner with lines from Aqua Teens or Sealab 2021, all based on what you know.

So, yes, write what you know, and translate it to characters, who you also know from obsessive watching and analysis. It's a great way to set a scene; Lilah sitting at a bar is not an alien experience from you sitting at a bar in all ways. She will still have a favored drink, will fuss with the napkin when she's bored, get annoyed at the bartender for taking forever to get her drink order, dislike the song on the jukebox, et cetera.

And then that comes to the next advice, advice I think is actually much more useful than "write what you know" because there are a lot of things you can fake knowing if you research, and if you research, it's the door to a whole new intellectual journey anyway. But okay, showing rather than telling. I remain convinced that the way to "show" in writing is to base it in your basic five senses.

For example:

Lilah walked into the room. She was angry. "Why did you tell Angel about our date?" she yelled at Faith. "I'm so mad at you!"

You've told us, not shown us, what's going on. And you haven't even told us most of what's going on. Lilah's mad at Faith for telling Angel about their date. Why? What does she look like when she's pissed? What is Faith feeling/thinking/looking like when Lilah is yelling at her? Where are they that Lilah feels comfortable yelling?

So let's take it from the top. Establish a POV; for this exercise, I'll choose Faith.

Faith leaned back in the black leather desk chair, bored. Lilah was five minutes late for their meeting. We immediately know why Faith's in the room, and what she's doing. We have a visual image of Faith in the desk chair, bored. You could further embellish the image by describing how Faith shows boredom instead of saying it, but the amount of showing you do is up to you.

Faith leaned back in the black leather chair, bored. Lilah was five minutes late for their meeting -- and Faith soon discovered why. "Are you insane?" Lilah snapped, slamming the door behind her. Note, we've now added a bit more suspense by the slight redundancy of "Faith soon discovered why." It indirectly asks "why is Lilah late" and answers, "well, I'll tell you." Next, you can also see that instead of saying Lilah's angry, I show it by word choice and character action and dialogue choice. Lilah doesn't *tell* Faith she's angry; she implies it in her words and slamming the door. Furthermore, by using the word "snapped" to describe the way Lilah's saying the words, the connotation of anger and irritation come into play.

Faith leaned back in the leather chair, bored. Lilah was five minutes late for their meeting -- and Faith soon discovered why. "Are you insane?" Lilah snapped, slamming the door behind her. "Angel? You told Angel?"

Faith groaned at Lilah's narrow eyes and tight mouth. "Babe, I didn't have to tell him anything. He already knew."

So finally, here, we've got our showing instead of telling. The characters are talking naturally, assuming the other character understands their anger instead of telegraphing to the reader that they're mad/sad/happy/glad. We have a visual of the two people in the room and their reactions to each other. We have an understanding of the whys of the behavior. In short, the reader is shown, not told, the fight between Lilah and Faith, and the scene pops.

Specifically, keep in mind that lots of word choice, with sentence variation, will also help you tell and not show. Strolled, trudged, skipped, moved, slid, and walked are all very similar actions, in real life. In writing, each word has a connotation attached; a busy, anxious character is unlikely to stroll, and a clumsy oaf is unlikely to glide. Be aware of your synonyms and close neighbor words, but avoid becoming a slave to the thesaurus. Walked and said are good, solid words that people will read and not find tedious.

Last bit of advice: practice. Listen to criticism. Only you know exactly how you write, but it's not a static practice. You can learn new tricks, and you can correct old faults.